No clean dishes? Can’t find the pots and pans? Or just to plain lazy to cook something? Well here ya go.

Two slices of bread
One egg
Garlic salt for egg (or salt & pepper will do)
Two slices of ham
One slice of any cheese (optional)
Desired bread topical agent.

This is time sensitive because your STARVING but all the dishes are dirty.

The time it takes you to toast the bread is all you need to make this meal. So, obviously, put the bread in the toaster and slam it down to get it started.

Now, quickly get one of those really small tupperware containers that you never seem to find a use for (and have lost the lid to) and crack your egg into it. No, you don’t need the shells… scoop them out and then scramble your egg. Put the container covered with a paper towel (unless you found the lid) into the microwave and cook for one minute on HIGH.

While bread is toasting and egg is cooking… wash a SINGLE plate and rinse off your fork from scrambling the egg. We don’t want any raw egg in the desired bread topical agent container.

DING! Your bread is toasted.
BEEP… BEEP… BEEP… your egg is ready.

Build sandwich by putting cold slices of ham FIRST. The bread is now heating the meat. Scoop out the egg onto the cold ham SECOND. The egg is now heating the meat… it’s getting it from both sides. (Hehe). THIRD place optional slice of cheese on top of egg. LASTLY, scoop out serving of desired bread topical agent onto final piece of bread before “smooshing” it together.

The time it takes you to find the last clean glass to pour a drink… the sandwich should be cool enough to eat. If you have the resources (a double toaster) then you may X2 this recipe by adding a second egg, two additional slices of ham and one additional slice of optional cheese. The time to prepare remains the same since you have that fancy shmancy double toaster. You might want to bump up the microwave cooking time to 1.30 minutes.

Oh… and my desired bread topical agent is mayo.

That’s eat! Enjoy!

New Catagory!

It’s called “FOOD!”

Last night I prepared some leftover pork round slices that were undercooked by my youngest daughter. She is just beginning to figure out how to prepare food so rather than complain of a waste… I put the meat to good use. BOO has been watching me cook for years and she knows that I like to use spice and herb. The pork was seasoned adequately… but she was worried of overcooking.

We have a deal she and I. When she has done the seasoning… it’s kept secret. I have no idea what or how she comes up with the smells and tastes.  However, to quote my wife, I’ll try anything once – Twice if I like it – Three times if it doesn’t kill me. This doesn’t imply that I haven’t asked a thousand questions… just that she never answers them.

So, the slices are about like thick pork chops and the meat is very lean. The seasoning has some type of marinade sauce and maybe some garlic pepper. A very good beginning except for the whole raw meat thing. I must commend her presentation on a square plate with crumbled feta cheese on top. The white cheese and black pepper sprinkles were very appetizing. However, it’s suppertime and I’m hungry and this stuff should not be wasted.

Here’s what to do. I get my trusty large stainless steel saute’ pan out and heat it up with some sesame seed oil. Don’t ask me why I am using sesame oil… it was a gift for Christmas a few years ago and I hate wasting food. So I’m using this burnt tasting oil because it’s a small bottle and it tastes…well burnty.  Anyway, the meat is prepared by slicing it thinly like it was meant for stir fry. I throw down some garlic pepper, pork seasoning rub and a splash of worcestershire sauce and set the eye on “high”.

Next, I realize that the saffron rice packet should have been started first since it is what takes the longest to cook. In a panic I open the package and add the appropriate amount of hot water to help the heating up process. Bring to a boil and turn down to “low” and forget about it.

The pork is sizzling hot now and I’ve chopped up a whole onion into stir fry strips and throw that in with the pork. Adding some salt to compensate for the raw vegetables… everything is cooked on high until the onions begin to caramelize and then I put a lid on and set to “low” and forget about it.

Lastly, I opened up a can of black beans and add some minced onion and garlic sauce and bring to a boil.

About this time I realize everything smells like fajitas and now I’m craving some flour tortillas. Alas! NO TORTILLAS EN MI CASA! I fix myself a plate of this delicious smelling stuff and chow down thinking of what I can use for a substitution. The best I can find are some corn chip scoops… so I pour me out a bit and get the hot salsa.

I must say… DELICIOUS!

Note to self: put tortillas on grocery list.