A wall has pictures from his family’s past… generations before him. Old brown and white pictures and the last was a portrait of the rich man. His father or grandfather had told him… ‘better to have loved once than to never have loved at all’. It was written on the mirrored walls where the pictures were. When the rich man’s loyal friend read this he was moved.

The rich man must have found someone, I never saw it. He went in search of her… inquiring of her family. He met with the mother who was feeding a child at a table. The kitchen was old and dirty. She was very hospitable and asked if they would like something to eat but they refused. When they refused the child said ‘you fool, should would have given you anything!’. The door out the kitchen then led to a huge mansion of white walls and crystal fixtures. There was a large pool outside… white stucco everywhere. The house was far into the country and it was difficult to make a phone call. The rich man was trying to send a message to the woman he met.

Something happens to the rich man and he is dying. I don’t know if it was an accident or a sickness but it must have happened during the search. The loyal friends are beside themselves with grief. One friend will pray to God fervently. The friend who read ‘better to have loved once than to have never have loved at all’ will seek help from the ‘lady of the volcano’.

The rich man’s relatives descend upon his home by the extinct volcano. They begin to pack his belongings in preparation of his death despite no indication that this will happen. They are greedy for his fortune.

The friend who seeks the lady of the volcano is put into a sleep and he transcends into another realm where she resides. He means to kill her if she will not help, he has brought a weapon, but upon seeing her face he falls in love. He never intended on staying but if he chooses to do so… it will release the rich man. So this friend kills himself in the other realm and his body on earth dies. The lady of the volcano places her hand on the loyal friends heart and it sets ablaze. He awakens and the two of them kiss. The extinct volcano erupts. The rich friend is released but his home is destroyed.

I don’t know how it ends… I woke up.

The fields had fences with trees grown along them… kinda like hedgerows and the the fields themselves were of wild hay. And I notice I’m barefoot. It’s dark… like close at dusk and it felt cool like rain was nearby but I heard no thunder nor did I smell it in the air. Running through this field is a stream which also has a huge pipeline that runs parallel with it. I need to get across so I climb on top of the pipeline to use it as a bridge but to my own entertainment… I decide to “challenge” myself to walk on top for as long as possible… perhaps to the end thus taking me way off course of my original route.

Balancing and walking… the pipeline bends and curves until it reaches a point were they have come apart and are in pieces. These pipes are huge… large enough for me to walk upright inside of but something large and metallic had fallen on them. Now there are huge pieces in a rough formation separated by a foot or two but still near their original mounting. Hopping from one rusty piece to the next I reach the end of the line which turns out to actually be the beginning. The pipelines start at an industrial area… a mine site of some sort. I’m not near the mine itself…this is some type of facility where they wash the silt looking for coal ..or something.

I have no idea where I am. I’m barefoot. It’s getting dark. At the edge of the property I can see a road so I figure I can head that way and walk to the nearest town, gas station, whatnot or at least look for a sign that tells me something approximate to how far I am off course. I used to do this quite alot when I was younger. I’d take a random road and see where it goes… trying to guess myself back home. It was and still is a challenge for me to keep my bearings. I’m directionally challenged and can get lost just by turning around if I’m in a moving vehicle. My brother had the built in compass… you could drop him in the middle of nowhere and he’d find the closest bar/package store in the area before nightfall.

At first I want to double back, find where I made the wrong turn and continue my original course. However, the time it would take to do that… I had already passed the point of no return. I didn’t have enough daylight for that plan. So, I walk to the road and hop the fence. I’m looking left and right for a sign, mile marker, anything to give me an idea of my location. To the left is a road that is fairly straight which lazy humps and fields to the left and right of it. To the right is a bridge or an overpass. I’m thinking to myself… “it would be nice if someone drove up and offered me a ride.” Just as I say this… a car rolls up from the direction of the bridge and stops. It’s a sedan of gray or maybe even blue color… something dark. The driver’s window rolls down and a guy asks if I need any help.

I’m embarrassed to say I’m lost and also to the fact that I look like a transient. Bare feet and apparently I’m carrying around something large and flat like a big broken down cardboard box or a mattress? The driver points back at the bridge and says “hey buddy… lets get back underneath the bridge there so we can figure out where you are”. My first instinct is to refuse…if he wants to give me a ride then why back up and park underneath the bridge? But maybe he has a map or something? So I say ok and walk that way while he drives slowly in reverse and parks the car.

The driver parks underneath the overpass and in the shoulder of the road. He gets out and walks to the supporting brace of the overpass with his hands in his pocket. I walk up to him but I’m not really looking at him… still feeling embarrassed. This guy is wearing a brown shiny leather jacket, dark t-shirt and jeans. His hair is black and kinda long and combed to one side. He begins to ask what the problem is and I open with the story of trying to cut across a field to get someplace.

Now keep in mind… at this point I pretty much know I’m dreaming but what happens next is a complete surprise. As I’m bantering off about being lost the driver looks left and then right and then at me and begins to walk my way while pulling his hand out of his pocket. He takes one step and raises up his arm with a pistol in it. This guy is going to fucking shoot me! I reach for the gun but he is too far away.. and I hear the first shot. I think he hit my hand. The next shot hit my left leg or hip… and the last my upper right chest. The were three quick shots. I fall to my knee and my left hand is holding my chest. Everything begins to get really really slow and I feel like I’m moving underwater. I was trying to rush the guy… screaming some kind of battle cry but I black out for a millisec. I awake with the guy standing right next to me… and I realize I’m going to die now.

I can only wonder…. why?

There was so much juicy stuff to write about. I’ve lost all of my notes and probably what text I had written in notepad. I’d probably have to start all over again. All of the content was drawn from what little life experience I had up to my mid to late twenties. Now here I am … a lifetime later and I think I’ve got some more content but I don’t know if I can lay it down like I used to. However, it would be interesting to see what it would read like.

My internet speed:

I didn’t realize how bad my provider is.

My new computer at Mom’s house running Windows XP Pro:

Yeah well I’m not using my PC’s full potential. She runs Windows 7.

My old computer at my house:

Sad really.

My new computer with Windows 7 and 6GB of RAM at my house:

The manager I spoke with was amicable and he and I could relate as ‘upper management’ about common problems with today’s minimum wage workforce. Craig gave me a rundown of the company and the particulars of the job so I cut to the chase and rifled out my relevant experience right behind that. As we got to the ’standard six questions’ that are asked on every interview… I had already answered 4 of the 6 in my spiel. In the end, Craig said he felt I was well qualified for the job and that he really enjoyed talking to me.

Overall, I had a good feel for the interview. In fact, I kinda wanted to ask “when do I start” but chose to keep things subtle. I’m hoping that my success record with interviews will continue. Getting this job will mean working steady hours five days a week with no overtime. The pay is decent but not what I need if I want to only work a single job but given that the hours are great… there will be enough time for me to pickup a part time job in the afternoons and still get some sleep. The magic number is $15.50 an hour… this job will pay from $11.50 – $13.50 an hour. Craig says he would guess it at $12.50.

So, I have some options. Currently I’m sticking with plan “A” where I go back to work as a unit manager for a restaurant. It’s not what I want to do but the money will still be coming in and it won’t cause stress to my household. Plan “B” is to find a new job that pays at least $15.50 an hour but this is highly unlikely in the immediate future. I have… and will continue to apply for jobs with this potential but at the moment none of them have returned any contact. Plan “C” is to find a job that pays at least $12 an hour with at least 10 hours of overtime. Plan “D” is to find two jobs and work no more than 60 hours a week with at least 2 days off. I still have half of my tax refund in the bank to serve as emergency money.

I will continue to apply for whatever jobs I can find. However, all I can do right now is to be patient. Pray. And did I mention be patient? It will be at least a week before I hear anything about this morning’s interview. I’m on my second day of vacation with four more to go.