I’m a father of three… one post teen, one present teen and one pre-teen. I believe the new slang word for a pre-teen is a “tween” now. Having gone through this rodeo once before and currently on the riding circuit with the middle daughter… my youngest is getting the benefit of the road tested experiences. However, if you were to ask the youngest if she was benefiting of anything… I doubt she would agree.

All three kids have different personalities which quite honestly is refreshing at times. They can’t all be treated the same way but there are some similarities in their behavior since all kids have one thing in common… they grow up and don’t need you anymore. But that isn’t what this post is about. What dawned on me this week (as I was learning about how my middle daughter deceived her way out of her friend’s parent’s house and was later picked up at 2AM on the side of the road where the friend’s car had broken down… whew) is that your kids can teach you things about life.

The Bible often speaks of how we are God’s children and I can see how that analogy works when dealing with my own. So let’s look at this latest debacle of my daughter sneaking out of the house. The story is that it was a rescue mission… a good friend was stranded and without a ride and he would never leave her in a bad situation such as this. Instead of calling us and explaining the situation, she took matters into her own hands and was determined to get this friend home.

I don’t want to get too detailed here but I’m pretty sure the motive was genuinely a rescue mission and I don’t think they were up to trouble. However teenagers riding around late at night past the city curfew and patronizing the local hang out that is next door to the local bar is a recipe for disaster. Something is bound to go wrong and that is exactly what happened. Her whole decision making process hinged upon everything happening exactly as she planned. How was she to know that the friend had a brother who was looking for a fight? How was she to know that not only will other teenagers be at the bowling alley but so will the local law enforcement officials (DUH!)?  How was she to know that her friend’s car was going to break down at 1AM on the interstate?

I’m trying my best to be patient and to give her a chance to grow up in her own way. I can’t always be around to make sure she makes the right decisions. Eventually she’s going to be on her own so I’m trying to take this opportunity to teach her something that will be of real benefit in the future. I ask to hear the story of what happened and point out opportunities where she should have realized she was doing something wrong. After she’s done I remind her how she wants all of the “power” of being an adult but she doesn’t want any of the responsibility.

My epiphany was summed up with one question. “Did you ever consider what you would do if something went wrong?”

We were silent for a moment until she finally said “no, not really” in her usual “like-I-give-a-damn” attitude. I’m pretty sure the attitude was a defensive mechanism when exposed to the reality that she had done something stupid. Instead of getting upset over the attitude… I tried to keep the focus on what she could learn from this incident. “I think God is trying to tell you something. Be grateful that everything worked out fine and you got home safe.”

She whipped back “yeah, yeah. Mom already told me this. I shouldn’t add to or take away from what you tell me to do. None of this would have happened if I wasn’t there to begin with.” I shook my head with a loud “Nope!” My wife was right to tell her that… I did agree but I was trying to look at the bigger picture. “No, I think He’s trying to get you to examine your whole decision making process.”

The funny thing is that I’m already trying to teach the youngest about accepting personal responsibility. Specifically, accepting the consequences of a decision regardless of the outcome. Regardless of how much wisdom we may be seeing here… this did not help my frustration when dealing with the absurdity of the middle daughter’s actions. Now before you want to call me all pious and self-righteous… read the caption to this post again.

What you can learn from a teen ager is that we, as adult Christians, are just as rebellious and stubborn as the average run of the mill 17 year old.  Taking matter into your own hands? Unwilling to accept personal responsibility? What, you think all Christians are angelic in nature? No, when I doubt God’s plan for me or doubt that there is even a plan at all… I’m being just as bull-headed as my daughter. When we tell her that the trust issue isn’t so much us with her as it is her with us… that’s like Jesus smacking me on the bad of my head. Yeah, my daughter doesn’t trust us to act as though we really love her when she does something wrong… does that sound familiar to anyone out there reading?

I’ll be the first one to admit that there are times when I feel like God doesn’t love me or that my consistent daily failures to abide by His Will disqualify me from His Grace. Yes, there are limitations to what I’m willing to do for my daughter despite my love but I’d never stop loving her. So why am I so afraid to trust God with my life? Why do I keep finding reasons NOT to trust Him. Why do I keep feeling like I’ll be giving up all my freedoms if I do what He commands?